If Only
by xox-twilight-xoxB
Summary: I'll be happy. I'll always be happy. Bella Swan lives a normal life; she has a crazy best friend and a father that loves her. But when a mysterious green eyed boy comes to town, things begin to change for the better.
1. Preface

Preface:

I closed my eyes and took a breath. Life was right in front of me and for the first time I was taking the easy way out and turning my back to the opportunity in front of me. I hated how easily they had persuaded me. They had taken my morals and my beliefs and changed them into their own without me even knowing it. If I could go back, I would walk away and never look at their perfect faces again. Behind my closed eye lids, their distinct features were still there. Taunting me. Laughing at me. Never allowing me to forget. I had given them my life and in exchange I had gained nothing. Nothing but pointless emotions and feelings that never seem to fade no matter how far I run. They encouraged me to keep running, to keep going, to never give up. It was all a game to them, I was their piece, they drew the card, they rolled the dice, and I was nothing. Easily replaceable, they never told me that though, they made me feel special. Special enough that even after all they had put me through, I still found myself in this situation; taking a deep breath, ready to give up.

**A/N: just trying to write something again :) haha if I get some good feedback, I'll continue it :) please review :) I know it's short but the chapters will eventually get longer :)**

**also concerning 'vampire red, vampire gold' I WILL finish it one day :) **

**Please review :) -Brittney **


	2. Chapter 1: Crazy Ideas

Chapter 1:

"Bella, can you hurry up? We're gonna be late."

My small pixie friend like pounded her fists against my door and I cursed Charlie for letting her into our house. I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock: 7:03 AM

I was going to kill her. I threw my covers off me and threw open my door.

"What do you mean, 'we're gonna be late?' Do you know what the time is? It's 7 in the freaking morning!"

She giggled evilly and walked past me and straight into my closet. I groaned and followed her.

"Bella, it's a Monday morning, do you know what that means?" Her voice was muffled because of how far deep she was in my closet but I rolled my eyes when I heard her.

"That I need to get a new best friend?" I said under my breath.

"No, silly." Her mood was so ridiculously happy at this hour, that my comment didn't faze her. "It means that it's a new week so we have to be ready for anything. So put on these clothes and let's go."

She handed me a pile of clothes and sat on my bed, looking up at me expectantly.

"Alice, we live in Forks. Nothing ever happens, we don't have to be ready for anything."

She shook her head and pointed to my door.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. Now, go and get changed."

I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything, because arguing with her would be pointless. I turned and walked out of my bedroom, making my way to the bathroom. Charlie was making his way downstairs when he saw me. He chuckled at my facial expression.

"Sorry, Bells."

I shook my head.

"Next time, don't let her in."

"It was raining." He shrugged helplessly and began fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt.

I sighed and tried smiling.

"Sorry, dad. I'm not really a morning person."

He laughed loudly and continued walking downstairs.

"Oh, I know." He called from over his shoulder.

I smiled and opened the bathroom door. I stepped into the shower and washed my hair with strawberry shampoo. The smell was comforting and made me forget that it was so early in the morning. I rinsed the soap off me and stepped out of the shower. I pulled a large shower around me and dried myself. I inspected Alice's pick in clothes and like always, it was a perfect match. I slipped on the black skinny jeans and the simple dark blue shirt that she had chosen. I cleaned my teeth and fixed my hair so it was ok to be seen in public and then left the bathroom. I heard faint peals of laughter from the kitchen so I headed downstairs.

Alice and my dad were talking quietly when I reached them. They both looked over to me.

"Bells, here's some money for pizza tonight, I'm heading over to Harry's place tonight for the game."

I nodded and thanked him as he handed me the money.

"Oh shoot." He looked at him watch and then made a beeline for the front door.

"I'm running late, girls. Have a good day at school." And with that, he was out the door.

"You're dad's awesome."

I laughed silently at her comment and continued making my cereal. Alice got along with Charlie in a way that I would never understand. He was as much my dad as he was hers. I was happy to share with her though; when she was 3 years old, her parents decided that they didn't want to have a child anymore. Just like that they put her up for adoption and abandoned her. Mr and Mrs Brandon were kind enough to adopt her and accept her into their family but I don't think Alice ever felt like she actually belonged there. She did get along with them though, not like she does with Charlie though.

"Let's go, Swan."

I looked down at my empty cereal bowl and realized I had eaten without myself even knowing. I put the bowl into the sink and then followed her out the door.

The high schooled looked exactly the same, like it always did on a Monday morning. Nothing unusual had happened over the weekend and I sighed.

"Alice, you woke me up for nothing."

She shook her head.

"Nope, this Monday will be special. I can feel it."

I rolled my eyes at her. Alice had these 'feelings' before and a couple of times she had been right. The other times she had been wrong. The last time she had this 'feeling' she dragged me to Seattle because, as she claimed, 'the love of my life' would be there. Believe it or not, she was wrong. She made us wait 4 hours before she let us leave. Needless to say, it was the coldest and most disappointing Saturday night of my life. My weekend had been uneventful.

I was pulled from my dreaded memories when she squealed.

"Jasper!"

The southern blonde that was walking towards us, was Jasper. He was Alice's boyfriend. They had been dating for 2 years now and yet she still squealed whenever she saw him. His face lit up when he saw her and I know with everything inside me that they are meant to be.

He kissed her lightly and they nodded his head in my direction.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Jaz." I smiled at him. I loved Jasper. He was the big brother I never had, but always wanted.

"Today's going to be a brilliant day."

Alice had a huge smile when she told him this.

"Is that so?"

She nodded quickly and whispered something in his ear. His blue eyes widened slightly and looked back at me.

Shaking his head he wished me luck.

"You'll need it, I think."

The bell rang and we headed towards homeroom. I was going to ask what he meant but then I shook it off, because Alice always had crazy ideas.

I sat down and dropped my bad to the floor, beside my desk, when I felt tingles go up my back.

**A/N hey :) please tell me what you think :) i'd really like some feedback :) tell your friends to read this please :) REVIEW :D**


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